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User blog:J1coupe/Ezio Auditore vs. Agent 47 IV...? Epic Rap Battles of Video Games Off-Season.
So, hello, everyone. It's Coupe. I'm here with another Off-Season. If you couldn't tell from the title and the cover next to these words I am writing, it's Ezio vs 47 IV. Yeah. That's right. Now, if you're new to my battles or haven't read my Off-Season battles, you might ask what Off-Seasons are; they are either battles that felt like it didn't fit into my plans for the season, didn't feel like the connection or the lyrics were good enough or thought that this doesn't really deserve to be a normal battle even though I wanted to write it. So, basically, today, we've got Il Mentor of Assassins, Assassin's Creed Series' most famous protagonist, Ezio Auditore da Firenze goes against the Silent Assassin, Agent 47, the main character of Hitman Series. For the fourth time. No beats, no title cards. Just pure rapping skillz. Now, I know what you're thinking. "Donuts". But you're also thinking that "Ugh, can you stop with this stupid series already three is plenty". Well, people wanted to see the fourth one. So shut up. ;-;. Nah, but few people did want to see a fourth one, so I made it in the form of off-season. As always, I welcome your feedback, so vote and comment. Be sure to leave a suggestion if you have a battle that you want to see. Lyrics...? UH... ARE WE REALLY GONNA DO THIS? SERIOUSLY? I MEAN, LOOK AT THEM. (Ezio looks up to the announcer with a blank expression, while 47 is busy looking at his phone) WE ARE? REALLY? UGH. FINE. WHATEVER. AS LONG AS YOU PAY ME. RIGHT. AHEM. BIG RHYMIN' COMPETITION BETWEEN GAMING INDUSTRIES... AND STUFF EZIO AUDITORE DA FIRENZE! (Even when his name is announced, Ezio doesn't stand up; but instead, he just yawns) UH... I SAID EZIO AUDITORE DA-''' Ezio Auditore: Merde. I heard you. I'm here, can't you see? Hello. Move on already. '''RIGHT. SORRY. AGENT.. 47!!! Agent 47: Shh, Shut up, shut up. I am *THIS* close on beating Level 103 in Candy Crush. BUT.. THE BATTLE.. Agent 47: I spent 300 bucks on this game, so shut up, I'll battle that Italian fuck when I'm done. Ezio Auditore: Excuse me? Agent 47: Shush, I'm busy. BUT.. PEOPLE WANT YOU TO BATTLE.. LIKE.. NOW.. T-THE, THE FOURTH BATTLE OF THE SERIES AND A-''' Agent 47: Say "battle" one more time and I'll put a bullet through your fucking face. '''R-RIGHT. UH.. SORRY. Agent 47: YES! I DID IT! WOOOOH! UH.. YOU DONE? Agent 47: Level 104, here I come! UHHH... CAN WE START THE BATT.. I MEAN, THE COMPETITION NOW, 47? Agent 47: What? Oh, that? Yeah, I guess, sure. Whatever. (Ezio, who was sleeping next to 47, hits his head on the bench arm and wakes up) Ezio Auditore: WHO- WHA- MI- ''Oh. We, we done? Can I go home now? Fuck the pay, I can steal double the amount from people in less than an hour. I'm out. '''WAIT, NO, THE BATTL- UH, I MEAN, THE RHYMING COMPETITION!' Ezio Auditore: Fine.. Okay. Whatever. *sigh* Go and announce the damn thing already. RIGHT. UH.. GREAT RAPPIN FIGHT REGARDING ASSASSINS AND SUCH EZIO AUDITORE DA FIRENZE! (Ezio waves his arm unenthusiastically) VERSUS! AGENT 47! (47 glimpses at the camera with a disgusting look before going back to his phone) 4! BEGIN! Ezio Auditore: Uh.. Who went first last time we did this? Agent 47: How the hell would I know. YES! LEVEL 105! I am so on a roll right now. Ezio Auditore: Right. I'll just start. Okay. Let me drop some rhymes. For the fourth time. I think. Uh, I'm the Il Mentor of Assassin, you're a bald fatty, yeah. Imma put you down thirce, so Requiescat in Pace. Agent 47: You already made those jokes before. Ezio Auditore: Well, what do you want me to do then? I don't have any materials left. Agent 47: What about my movie? Ezio Auditore: Been there. Agent 47: My game developers? Ezio Auditore: Done that. Agent 47: Uhhh... my dead bunny? Ezio Auditore: That too. Agent 47: Damn. How about, uh... the fact that my barcode has my birthday on it? Ezio Auditore: How am I even suppose to diss you with that? Sing Happy Birthday to you? Agent 47: How the hell would I know? You're the one who won the trilogy. Come up with something. Ezio Auditore: Hey, don't just expect me t- Y'know what, never mind. Screw this. UH.. GUYS? YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO-''' Ezio Auditore: Oh, shut up. I quit. Agent 47: Wanna go get a coffee or something? Ezio Auditore: Nah. Let's go kill some people. Agent 47: Sweet. '''BUT... GUYS..? GUYS?? (47 and Ezio walks away to the sunset) WELL, LOOKS LIKE THIS IS IT THEN. UH.. WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? I MEAN, WHO EVEN CARES? I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW ANYMORE. I GUESS NO MORE EZIO VERSUS 47 THEN? UH... EPIC RAP BATTLES O- *BANG* (A gunshot is heard and the announcer falls face-first on the ground) Agent 47: What did I say about the word "battle"? Ezio Auditore: That you got your ass kicked by me in it? Agent 47: Oh, fuck you. Note Thank you for reading, Ezio vs 47 V coming very soo- *shot* Nah, I'm kidding. As you probably guessed from reading this, this wasn't really a proper battle, but more like my way of ridiculing those who asked me for Ezio vs 47 IV even after I said I won't do them. xP I really have no materials left to diss them with, so, y'know. please stop suggesting Ezio vs 47 IV ;-; And as you can tell this basically means I won't be using Assassins Creed Series or Hitman Series again. I might remake my first five battles one day, which includes the first Ezio vs 47, but I won't be making a legit sequel to the original trilogy. Originally, this wasn't suppose to happen at all, but while I was thinking of writing another Off-Season, it came to me that this was my fifth off-season. So I felt like doing some kind of mid-season finale (even though it's not a season, an off-season.. you get the point.) So, this happened. Hope you enjoyed it, I'll see you guys next time with an actual battle. Also, if you wish to read the original trilogy of Ezio vs 47: FIRST SECOND THIRD Poll Should I make a legit Ezio Auditore vs Agent 47 IV? No No No No No Check Out Other Battles From Me! Category:Blog posts